Sunday, November 30, 2008

This time tomorrow I will be on the plane flying over an ocean or a farm or a meadow. Or crashing.

I packed lots of film. It my not look like much, but I'm only going for twelve days, and that's more than a roll a day. I console myself from nervousness with the idea that I can always buy more.

Six rolls of 35 mm film (ISO 100, 200 &400), two black and white & four colour, plus the black and white in my SLR and the colour in my crazy three photo camera.
Two packets of cartridge film (ISO 200), plus the one freshly loaded into my spy camera.
Five rolls of black and white 120 film (ISO 100) and three colour (ISO 200 & 400).

This is me and my favourite SLR. We met at Savers and luck had it that I had a model up of this that didn't work, so I had all the lenses and stuff.
It works wonderfully and I lurrrrve it. It's the heaviest of all my cameras, which doesn't really mean much as all my cameras are plastic or Bakelite.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

There are two standard ways to achieve a scavenger hunt; accomplish the list first or complete it in the most creative style.
I want people to post fun things and I will find them and take photos of them. It will be a really exciting scavenger hunt for me and and exercise in diligence, which is definitely what I need.
My prey can be anything really. Just post and object or a scene or an individual you'd like me to find and I'll do my earnest.
I'm writing my own list as well. And hopefully I'll have enough film.
Choosing cameras to take is difficult. Today, I was on the train with someone and they asked if I had a camera; "...I have thirty..." was my reply.
Three more sleeps until I leave. I should go to bed.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Essentially, this blog is for me to document my trip to Japan. But me being me, I had a birthday sook and prematurely started posting. Not that it really matters.

So, as I say, I'm going to record my trip to Japan. I leave on the first of December, and this will include the preparations for my playtime/holiday, as well as my experiences when I'm in the country.

This introduction has been prompted by the arrival of my new favourite luggage bag.

Crocodile skin (faux crocodile skin) love. Blurry photo, clearly because I don't waste money on digital cameras when there are so many analogue treasures about. But, you can see what this looks like. Kathy Van Zeeland is ever so trashy. I say this without any affection, like one would with, say, Courtney Love or their best friends mother. I think she's one of the worst bag designers ever. But I really appreciate crocodile skin.
This is from her 'Pebble Beach' collection (I don't think you'd call it that), and bags like this were done in all different colours, including purple, which looked ridiculous.

Anyway, I love this bag. It's my carry on bag. I wish I had one of the bigger matching luggage cases.
I just realized some fucker stole my ice tea without me even realizing so I'm going to go find it.
Over and out.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Slow Dawn

I've always believed that age is an insignificant thing in comparison to every other aspect of a person. I never felt that one should be limited by ones age, but rather that we should act how old we feel, and do what we want.
Needless to say, my age has hindered me, and will continue to do so throughout my life, as with most people. But right now, thirty minutes from my eighteenth birthday, my 'underage' life is flashing before me; all ages ska shows, trying to buy cigarettes, more fake IDs than boyfriends, a myriad or rebellious phases.
I don't expect anything will change after twelve o' clock. I don't expect anything at all. But I can't cope with what the eighteenth birthday symbolizes. It represents a supposed adulthood, and suggests an alteration in ones lifestyle. Although it shouldn't bother me at all, I feel as if I am about to cross a barrier and I can never go back to a seemingly more innocent character. Yes, I am well are that I am far from innocent, but looking back on my past naivety etc., there is a child about to be left in that unconscious paradise lost called past.
An allegorical metamorphism is about to take place, whether I ignore it or not.

I should've been making the most of these last few days before I am legally an adult, reminicing, considering, dreaming. I wanted to be. Instead, I have been laying in bed for four days trying to distract myself from something that hardly exists.
To be completely honest, I'm shaken from this nameless unknown.
For as long as I can remember I've been so sentimental. That's what's getting to me, I suppose; knowing that this should be something and making it something.
Realizing this doesn't really solve the 'emotional hang up', nor does it alleviate me from all this anxiety.

I think what's bothering me the most is that I have taken my entire childhood for granted. I know everyone does. I know it can't be helped. I know everything looks better looking back. And I think I know I am being slightly dramatic. But I have the right to be.

I've been listening to the Fiona Apple cover of 'Across the Universe' on repeat through writing this. I keep trying to tell myself that "Nothing's gonna change my world", and I know nothing will noticeably change, but there are subtle changes about to leap out at me. They stir around so quietly I don't notice them, until one day I have a job, I have a car, I have a serious relationship, and Ford knows what other burdens.
I'm going to go outside, look at the stars, reminisce, and countdown til my life... I don't know what it's going to do, but I'm going to countdown to it.