Wednesday, March 31, 2010


Have you ever heard of Aristasia? How about The Pit? Or Miss Martindale?
Me neither 'til I somehow stumbled upon this odd belief system in my nightly lurks.

So, the facts:
  1. Aristasia consists only of women.
  2. Aristasians wear styles from the 20's to 60's. But the really disciplined ones even recoil from contact with modern; music, papers, art etc., and instead stick to films and music from the aforementioned eras (ARISTASIA PURA only, see below)
  3. Oh yeah, and no driving cars. They're starting to sound Amish.
  4. They refer to the real world as "The Pit".
  5. There are two different genders (remembering this is an all female belief system): Blonde (always spelled with an 'e') and Brunette (my sympathies red head ladies). Blondes are supposed to be even more feminine than the already exceptionally feminine Brunettes. A heterosexual couple (a Brunette & a Blonde) are capable of procreation.
  6. So sexually it's considered homosexual for two Blondes to be into each other.
  7. There are two different meanings for "Aristasia" (this is where it gets confusing) 1) ARISTASIA PURA - a fantasy, and therefore COMPLETELY FICTITIOUS world where there are no men; 2) ARISTASIA-IN-TELLURIA - an endeavour to enforce the all female sub-culture in IRL!
  8. The fantasy land ARISTASIA PURA is am empire of seven provinces that are kind of based on the Western world and different eras, yet it also represents ancient Asia. There is also a province for the year 2050, called Novaria.
  9. ARISTASIA-IN-TELLURIA, the real world one, is a protectorate of Aristasia Pura, and completely dependent.
  10. In ARISTASIA-IN-TELLURIA, the idea of Blonde & Brunette genders is preserved, but it has nothing to do with actual hair hair colour, it's a choice made about personality.
  11. Here is a quote about Blondeness "Aristasians consider Blondes impractical and vain. However, it is entirely acceptable for Blondes to hold positions of authority, and the intellectuality of Blondes is not disputed. Many Blonde Aristasians find the concept of Blondeness liberating, giving them a way of positively identifying themselves in a world that is generally hostile to ultra-femininity especially in women who prefer women." from their site.
  12. Aristasians declare effeminateness is the superior principle and strongly attack the "social conditioning" theory which considers femininity a device for the annexation of women.
  13. ARISTASIA is often linked to Separatist Feminism (not to be confused with the Separatist army in Star Wars har dee har har), which is just an anti-patriarchy sub-type of Feminism, that pretty much excludes men and only focuses on women. I hate Separatist Feminists because they are sexist jerks. That was unrelated, and not a fact, but I felt the need to clear that up because of how judgemental people can be when you say you're a Feminist.
  14. The annihilation of the modern patriarchal world is still axial to Aristasia-in-Tellurian thought. They do not, however, abhor applied sciences, mechanics, or any other technologies. They use these without restriction, by the belief that "technical advance does not cause cultural collapse."
  15. So ARISTASIA-IN-TELLURIA has been called a labyrinthine and complicated game, and Aristasians (along with myself) admit this. They then go on to say "schools, corporations, armies, nations are all games. They happen to be bigger and wealthier games than ours. But ours is better." I think that response sums up their philosphies pretty well.
  16. Many Aristasians have numerous personalities (no shit), who are each known by a different name, and perform diverging functions. They are acknowledged completely within Aristasia as a different individual. Oddly, amidst Aristasian hierarchy, someone may hold a high place, and one of their other personalities may hold another a low one. Some Aristasians even have personae in both sexes!
  17. There is an odd balance strictness and Closeness in Aristasia, in the way that a woman chooses which rules she adheres to, and how strict it may be, and it is completely consenSual, however this discipline is very real.

Catwoman pt.2

Soo & Sid

Soo in '87, all mothery

In the Simpsons... no shit.

Catwoman pt.1